Just prior to midnight, my best friend and I were able to make our way through the crowd. We got very close to the stage where a million balloons fell down upon us from the rafters of this great old building as Sugar Magnolia played in our ears. We were definitely feeling the effects of certain hallucinogens and were amazed to see a joint flying through the air being ridden by none other than Bill Graham. It took me quite some time to realize that there was actually a cable guiding the flying joint (duh). We were pretty squished into the crowd at this point, shoulder to shoulder very close to the stage.
“Hey, the dude behind you is peeing on you!” My friend turns around and sees what I see and starts freaking out, and like me, notices the size of his manhood.
As the show progressed, suddenly my friend tells me he feels something wet on the back of his leg. I look behind me and I see this tall, skinny, emaciated guy with billiard ball sized eyes, mouth gaping open, looking up at the stage in a trance and between his legs is the largest “member” I have ever seen in my entire life! I say to my friend, “Hey, the dude behind you is peeing on you!” My friend turns around and sees what I see and starts freaking out, and like me, notices the size of his manhood. I turn back around, rub my eyes, trying to focus my euphoric brain with much difficulty, to determine if this is really happening.
Time goes by, and after much staring, my mind reconciles the sight with a certain very familiar smell, and I finally realize it is a friggin’ 4-foot-long bong, cradled in between this comatose guys legs, tilting at such an angle that it’s spilling onto my friend’s pant leg. I start laughing uncontrollably and then it hits me, the very potent smell of bong water.
My friend and I come to the realization simultaneously and he is pissed, though not pissed on. Long story short, we must get rid of that awful smell, or possibly I leave my best friend for the evening because I cannot stand the smell. We decided to leave our pole position near the stage and walk to the concession area where my friend buys three hot ciders to pour onto his pant leg to drown out the smell. What a night!
~ Randylmax